If You Don’t Have A Flagstaff Travel Trailer, The Zombies Will Eat You.

Flagstaff Trailers

Flagstaff Trailers

As you know, Westland Camping Center is the official RV Dealership of the Zombie Apocalypse.  For years, we have been working tirelessly to keep you and your family safe from the Zombies.  We have been studying the various brands and options available in great detail, and although any travel trailer is better than nothing, our conclusion is that a Flagstaff Travel Trailer is the best equipped to handle the hordes of zombies, and keep you and your companions from being eaten.  Not all of these things are standard features, but they are on most every unit we order for stock.

This is no rash judgement on our part.  This is science.  We have broken-down the top 10 features of a Flagstaff Travel Trailer that will keep you safe in the event of a zombie apocalypse.  Here we will delve further into these 10 features to show you how to keep your brains right where you want them.

Electric Tongue Jack:

The need to hook up and get away quickly is paramount.  And with Flagstaff’s newly designed electric tongue jacks you will be ready to roll in a flash.  Manual Jacks are tedious and strenuous, especially considering with a weight distribution hitch you have to up and down repeatedly for either hooking up or unhooking.  And now that Flagstaff tongue jacks have a quick-foot on them, you don’t need to run it as far up or down.  Just pull the pin and slide it up as soon as the weight is off.  This can save you time, and of course save your life if you gotta get out of Dodge fast…

Day/Night Shades:

These shades are far more than just window treatments.  When employed properly in the daytime, the day function allows light into the coach so you don’t need to use precious electricity.  They are also transparent enough to be able to see clearly out to make sure the coast is clear before going outside.  But they also block the view from outside, you can move freely inside the trailer without the risk of those pesky flesh-eating zombies being alerted to your presence.  And at night, you pull down the nighttime shade and now it blocks the light outside, and again allows for freedom of movement without being seen.

Slam Latches on Exterior Storage Compartments:

If you have ever used a travel trailer, you know that you almost never get the cam locks and thumb locks closed on your first try, wasting valuable time that could be better served fleeing.  Slam latches are just like door latches, and latch when you close the compartment door.   They are also faster and easier to open, for easy access to the bludgeoning weapon of your choice.   Also, for those who worry about other people as well as zombies, the key is different than most RV storage compartments, for better security.

Wicked Awesome Insulation Package, Due to Vacuum Bonded Sidewalls and Roof:

Flagstaff’s insulation allows for much cooler temperatures, boasting an impressive R-7 in the sidewalls, R-12 in the floor, and R-14 in the roof.  This is very important for three reasons.  First, the less energy you require to heat or cool your coach, the longer that energy will last.  Conservation of resources is paramount in a post zombie existence.  Secondly, you have to be flexible about where you have to be and when, so being able to go into colder climates can be a major advantage.  Some zombie related studies have shown that zombies freeze solid in cold weather, or at least slow down, so you may find that as an advantage.  Third, and possible most important for survival, good insulation muffles sound.  Playing around in your trailer is much less likely to attract the attention of wandering herds of zombies.

All LED Lights Inside The Trailer:

Energy conservation is a major theme in this article, because when the zombies come, resources will probably get scarce.  Led lights use significantly less electricity than their incandescent counterparts, making sure you can conserve your battery’s power much longer that before.  You can survive on battery power alone much longer, and make sure there is plenty of power to run all of the other appliances like the fridge, furnace and water pump between charges.  In the likely scenario that running a generator would attract a lot of (very hungry) attention, how long your battery lasts will be a key to your long-term survival.

Factory Installed Battery Shut-Off:

When you aren’t using your trailer, it will be vital to conserve energy, and one important way to do that is to use a battery shut-off switch.  This will prevent your trailer from using any of your precious battery power to run the carbon monoxide/LP leak detectors, fridge circuit boards, and any other 12 volt  items you may have forgotten to turn off while you are away for any extended period of time.

Fully Walk-able Roof and Rear Mounted Ladder:

The seamless Vacuum Bonded Roof is fully walk-able, so no matter where you step, you are sure to have great support.  Combined with the rear mounted ladder, you have a great way to get up top for a better vantage-point for your lookout.  Also good for doing some routine maintenance, to ensure your home away from home stays in tip-top shape.

Heated Holding Tanks:

This feature is the best way to keep your holding tanks from freezing in cold weather in a post-zombie world.  Not only does it run on your 12v system, it doesn’t use your furnace at all, which saves energy and your LP supply.  It is also makes no sound, and as you know, noise attracts zombies.

Power Awning, LED Awning Lights, and Exterior Flood Lights:

These A&E powered awnings are extremely convenient to use and operate.  Lets say for example there is a storm coming, and you need to close your awning before it gets ripped off (you know how that goes…).  But there is a problem, there are a couple of zombies checking out the campsite next to yours, and there is no way you can go outside to get to the awning arms… What do you do?  Easy, just walk over to the switch, and roll it up.  No exposure, and you stay comfy and cozy inside.  These Awnings also feature LED lights underneath then, so you can light the entire area under the awning, while still being energy efficient, and not having to remove anything from the awning before retracting it.  And the exterior Flood lights are great to make sure your perimeter is secure before going outside at night, or to check on that spooky noise without having to put yourself at risk like some idiot in a horror movie.  Don’t be that idiot.  Get a Flagstaff.

Built-In Water Filtration System:

You never know where your water will be coming from, but with the on-board water filtration system, you can be sure that by the time it reaches the tap, it has gone through a tested and certified water filtration system.  Rusty well water and fine sediments are a thing of the past.  Let everyone else worry about that, as you wash your dishes and take your shower knowing that you don’t have to worry.

These features are the top 10 reasons you need a Flagstaff trailer, but they are not NEARLY the only ones.  I haven’t even gotten started on the easy to clean high gloss fiberglass (to wash all the gore off, of course), or the fact that they are all Half Ton Truck Tow-able.  Maybe I should do a top 15…

Please, read this article and consider this your warning.  If you don’t have a Flagstaff, rest assured, zombies will totally eat you.